Reflection: Self Love

As I start to reflect on this year, self love is the word I walk away with.  Before this year, I never used it.  Never thought about it.  Thought of it as selfish.

Why is that?

The more this year progressed and I worked on getting out of my postpartum “awakening” (I thought I had postpartum depression but it wasn’t and my therapist gave it this name so it stuck and it sounds way better!), I learned I control my own happiness.  I control my own outcome. It was only up to me to figure out what my happiness is.

I started on a road of self care and at first it felt all wrong.

How could I do things for myself?

I just had my second baby and a toddler and a husband to be there for and take care of.  And then I thought how could I not?  I was doing this self care for them.  If I didn’t start taking care of me, I knew my postpartum awakening was going to get much worse.

So, I listened.

I started off slow.  Listening to podcast about self love and self care.  Then reading books about it.  Then making appointments with myself.  Sometimes that would consist of getting my nails done, or getting a pumpkin spice latte, or just writing in a journal or my blog.

It evolved when I took a leap and invested in myself.  It was scary and bad ass at the same time.

I signed up for a coaching program to help me understand what was next for me.

At this time, I realized Beachbody coaching wasn’t going to work for me as a full time career. I still wanted to help others and be accountable but the time it was taking away from my family was not worth it.  I’m still a coach and always available to help but I don’t put the demands of making rank or hitting Beachbody’s goals.

All that said, I still felt like something was missing.  That I had more to give to others.  And that’s where this coaching program came in.  It opened my eyes to knowing I can still be a coach but at a different level and still help others get results they want.  It also taught me about self love.

Now self love is a part of my daily routine.  It’s in the workouts I do, my 5 minute meditation, making time for myself at least 30 minutes a day, or doing something for myself like getting my nails done or buying something small for myself that makes me smile (like a bottle of nail polish, a new journal, or a cute mug).

I find that when I make time for myself or do something that makes me happy, I’m all around a better person.  I can be there more for my family and friends.  I’m more focused, my creativity comes through and I’m happier

So, why did I and most people feel self love is selfish?

Maybe because if you google self love synonyms you find:

Egotism

Narcissism

Arrogance

Conceited

Or is it because our society feels the more you do for others, the better person you are?  I’m not saying don’t do things for others, but why can’t you count as one of the others you are doing something for?  You deserve it just as much as your friends and family do.  So why aren’t we good to ourselves?

What I have found this year is that self love is not selfish, it’s actually selfLESS.  It’s selfless to want to take care of yourself to be the best version you can be for those you love.  Sometimes, it just takes 5 minutes to reboot so you can be 100% present.

Self love was my commitment this year and will continue to be a commitment each year.  Will it be one of your commitments for 2017?  Share below how you are going to love yourself in the new year!

Till next time…Sparkle on!

Oh and don’t forget to sign up for my weekly newsletter at bit.ly/snemail to get healthy recipes, tips and motivation to be happy, healthy and fit for 2017.  And there is something special coming soon so you don’t want to miss it…I’ll spill the beans soon I promise!

 

 

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Holiday Party Fun without the Bloat

I love this time of year!  The lights, the music, the decorations, and the parties! However, I could deal without the after effects of enjoying the food and drinks that parties have to offer.  You know the bloat and the guilt of overdoing it.

So this year, I made a commitment to myself that I wasn’t going to have the bloat or guilt after my husband’s holiday party.  I would enjoy myself, eat what I wanted and not worry about it.  And since I love accountability, I told myself I had to post about it here!

My husband’s party was a couple of weeks ago and we had a blast!  I worked out and eat healthy throughout the day prior to the party.  I made sure to drink plenty of water so I’d be hydrated.  All the things I normally do before an event or holiday.

What was different this year, was what I did at the actual event!  I was ready to have fun and socialize and not worry about food!  And that is exactly what I did! And guess what? No bloat and no gross feeling the day after!

Ready to hear what I did?

I got to the event, took off my coat and took it all in.  And there was a lot to take in.  The minute we walked through the door, there was a Prosecco bar, raw bar and a cheese app w/balsamic and honey.

All my favorites!

Since the cheese was small and right there, I had it and it was worth it.  I think I went back for seconds.  Next up was the Prosecco bar and it was beautiful.  I went for the plain prosecco.  The other prosecco cocktails looked amazing and I knew the sugar would get me, so I CHOSE THE BEST CHOICE.

I had a few things off the raw bar but I didn’t go crazy because I know these parties and the food just keeps coming.

We went into the main area, socialized and then nibbled on a few pieces of cheeses, meat and veggies.  NEXT, I  TOOK A LOOK AROUND AT THE OTHER FOOD BEING SERVED.

There was a craving station.

A pasta station.

A main dish station.

A martini bar.

A dessert bar plus gelato.

I MADE MY DECISION AND I STUCK TO IT.

For my main meal, I’d had salad, fish, veggies and sweet potato.  No pasta and no craving station.  The salad wasn’t good so I didn’t finish it.  I had a few bites of my husband’s risotto and finished my plate.  I DID NOT GO BACK FOR SECONDS.

It was time to try out the peppermint martini!  (there I am with martini in hand and husband by my side).  I ONLY HAD 3 SIPS and then I put it down.  This martini was dangerous…tasty but having a whole one would have made me feel gross later.  Plus, I still wanted dessert.

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For dessert, I followed the 3 bite rule,even with the gelato.

Throughout the night I drank WATER and when I got home I chugged 20 oz of WATER.

When I woke up I felt good and ready to workout.  I chugged more WATER before, during and after my workout.

I never felt sluggish, bloated, heavy, or guilty about my food choices.  I felt happy, content and so glad we had fun with my husbands co-workers.

My mindset changed and I made small tweaks to enjoy the night.  You can too!  You can do the  3 bite or sip rule, look over the room at all your options before making a decision,  not finish something that isn’t tasting great, or stay super hydrated to help you through the holiday festivities.

Want more tips for the holidays?

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter at bit.ly/snemail.  I send one every Tuesday.  This week I’m sharing my mug cake recipe.  So good and perfect when you need sweet, so make sure you sign up so you don’t miss it!

Till next time…Sparkle on!

Cord Cutting Visualization

I try to meditate at least 5 minutes after my workouts. I’m doing what works for me as my priority right now is losing the baby weight.  So, I start with my workout and end with meditation.  In an earlier post, I wrote about my practices.  If you want to check it out, click here.

The day before Thanksgiving, I was able to do more than 5 minutes of meditation.  I took a yoga class to stretch out my body from all the kick boxing workouts I had been doing.  And mostly to get in a better head space for the holiday.

Thanksgiving, last year was really rough for me.  I had just had Linc and I was going through some type of postpartum, which I didn’t know at the time.  I just knew I couldn’t have more of the same since I was miserable last year.

I had heard of a cord cutting visualization from Gabby Bernstein.  I figured what the heck, let’s give it a try.  I decided to try it out in my yoga class when we went into the meditation part and it worked!

What is a cord cutting visualization?

You visualize people or things that are connected to you by a cord.  These would be negative aspects of people or expectations in my case.  Then you see the cord actually being  cut from you, allowing you to be free.

I focused on expectations that weren’t serving me first.  Then I was able to move on to people who impacted me negatively.

After I went through this exercise, I felt lighter and freer.  The feeling stayed with me during Thanksgiving and carried through for a bit.  When any negative feeling came up after that, I would just do this visualization again and then I could see clearly and move on being free from those expectations or negative people.

Try it out and let me know what you thought.  I am so happy I  have this tool to us for the upcoming month of festivities!

Till next time…sparkle on!